tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44679306966347139942024-03-05T01:19:17.402-08:00Give Me Ruffles Or Give Me Deathintrovert/really picky/designer/water sign/internet probably addictgivemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-1502654683098378942023-03-07T21:29:00.008-08:002023-03-07T21:40:55.424-08:00Marimekko for Ikea ... ?<p>I kind of want to punctuate this title with a question mark but I know that will bother me a bit. (* edit, I did!) Ikea's recent collaboration with esteemed (and one of my faves) Finnish brand is a bit confusing and doesn't really read "Marimekko" to me like its past work with Target. Instead, it's a much more muted and plainly graphic approach with a strange leaf focus that reads more like produce without the endearing primary colors and retro quality of a grocery store vegetable aisle.</p><p>They have built the collection around the idea of a home sauna which seems odd to me because who tf has that, but hey, we can dream I guess? (*Note: apparently rhubarb leaves grow around saunas in Finland) Although having such a space seems complicated to me and not what I would use extra square footage for in my home or yard. I think Ikea is trying to combine and capitalize on the wellness and stay-at-home trends that have become so overwhelmingly rampant, verging on toxic. </p><p>The pressure to be constantly well or at least in the pursuit of it is exhausting and irritating. What is this impulse a distraction from? Why do corporations want us to obsess on this way of living? Do they have a genuine investment in our well-being? I think not, but it's an amusing concept.</p><p>Anyway, this isn't to hate on Ikea or Marimekko because I am quite fond of them both, but there is something slightly condescending about wellness trends being constantly pushed onto society as if the world can be fixed by buying more of the latest pale and unassuming objects.</p><p>What I think is lacking from this collaboration is Marimekko's touch! This reads like any other Ikea collection and I think it's a bit of a wasted opportunity for a fun, unique diffusion line. Last year's Zandra Rhodes release was much more successful, in my opinion, and I hope that Ikea and Marimekko will work together again in a way that is truer to the textiles house. </p><p>Until then, I will highlight my favorite items from the drop and look forward to acquiring my own striped robe!! It's an amazing color and shape combination:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi75lq9W6Oa21d2VBIDHY4vliP6pr1RdDWPgxrz3h1v_a03y1Fjq2wn743fKJPfNVmrnrk4T5atrznX7_F7xjPlCEWQVR_eh8cMH-2PVQ-lwCMZWGYg6ec1JIGZOcxs0DtAimierAbdvFNfy9wJX6ZVJ0eexiYv-oTXZ2AoAsYh1EK-mqsRz92aCM8zxg/s586/IkeaMar_1.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="586" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi75lq9W6Oa21d2VBIDHY4vliP6pr1RdDWPgxrz3h1v_a03y1Fjq2wn743fKJPfNVmrnrk4T5atrznX7_F7xjPlCEWQVR_eh8cMH-2PVQ-lwCMZWGYg6ec1JIGZOcxs0DtAimierAbdvFNfy9wJX6ZVJ0eexiYv-oTXZ2AoAsYh1EK-mqsRz92aCM8zxg/s320/IkeaMar_1.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRATDJNiNORmuTJcK7F1cLVo74XKQbjXIZPKS9mi-gZFRaVhiR6UXKMQvHhI3n58_4TrhZYXDukzaTFMeGcDLICdN3Ble9HJ2JjBh9rxBTJahQfsdR9JfHYViwLjpm2ARBjRMGAhQHdbpdz0V4HXx2HmaYcAXwi_ClHvC1b-GR1l86BiqAQywUqfg2wQ/s568/IkeaMar_2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="568" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRATDJNiNORmuTJcK7F1cLVo74XKQbjXIZPKS9mi-gZFRaVhiR6UXKMQvHhI3n58_4TrhZYXDukzaTFMeGcDLICdN3Ble9HJ2JjBh9rxBTJahQfsdR9JfHYViwLjpm2ARBjRMGAhQHdbpdz0V4HXx2HmaYcAXwi_ClHvC1b-GR1l86BiqAQywUqfg2wQ/s320/IkeaMar_2.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Robe, $34.99</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWjHa2f8WLgZqp0-Sb1fA6NsBh6Pqfso21-igdh9Mr5s7YLvnVZR3MLrFjLIa5aRynHsAiAxblsGeDKVcoMjGDPmqmzLSEG-XoSumX6ktDwbbhwPveqzfoSS2hxdzhs4vV3JVRB9G7tlK1CKXM07nnz_VtvsJlf30kfncd384Hxo6OuIYD0UlZXh0-w/s510/IkeaMar_4.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="481" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWjHa2f8WLgZqp0-Sb1fA6NsBh6Pqfso21-igdh9Mr5s7YLvnVZR3MLrFjLIa5aRynHsAiAxblsGeDKVcoMjGDPmqmzLSEG-XoSumX6ktDwbbhwPveqzfoSS2hxdzhs4vV3JVRB9G7tlK1CKXM07nnz_VtvsJlf30kfncd384Hxo6OuIYD0UlZXh0-w/s320/IkeaMar_4.png" width="302" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Shopping Bag, $4.99</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitAQl3BDrQ0t_ZZeMTJyvK2jTY7ywBpnzGKJEcafZ4bkIfjj5v_y5FUo8a0qEbqvpNGx4u5vENuXCHiXWQCpMuih4xsWmeCojiNjk2ZgBgxTZQFGyOZpz48n47KqLO59a_WFgevY8mBItiWlcrpwEQpkXCRibKHA1lc1DG8VGwLvzHb5Tw_hmN1i8OHQ/s634/IkeaMar_5.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="476" data-original-width="634" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitAQl3BDrQ0t_ZZeMTJyvK2jTY7ywBpnzGKJEcafZ4bkIfjj5v_y5FUo8a0qEbqvpNGx4u5vENuXCHiXWQCpMuih4xsWmeCojiNjk2ZgBgxTZQFGyOZpz48n47KqLO59a_WFgevY8mBItiWlcrpwEQpkXCRibKHA1lc1DG8VGwLvzHb5Tw_hmN1i8OHQ/s320/IkeaMar_5.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Floor Cushion, $59.99 (Why?!?!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnfiBC9NO9FPJh_F6ddOrO1iYntT9K_EwGWGZseEAbAH-A_QkMURZGhVsb3rVB_-veMBT_5D3GdtdFaypOwkkBESbRBFzi3u7VClbQYX9QHswSAX9zBU7JqxD2nBJih2UGhlNzEbIz__mQamdIfMkymI2uwpESxRQQrAiM2JR84sf4GxuUqMdQJqooRQ/s634/IkeaMar_6.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="459" data-original-width="634" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnfiBC9NO9FPJh_F6ddOrO1iYntT9K_EwGWGZseEAbAH-A_QkMURZGhVsb3rVB_-veMBT_5D3GdtdFaypOwkkBESbRBFzi3u7VClbQYX9QHswSAX9zBU7JqxD2nBJih2UGhlNzEbIz__mQamdIfMkymI2uwpESxRQQrAiM2JR84sf4GxuUqMdQJqooRQ/s320/IkeaMar_6.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Bowl, $11.99</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi92MK8MKUJyFPww9qRZX0FHH-MgAQbG1XITSpEav4uGrBjefAXY9qTIzIeGaB0ASvEuzJaRhKuCNQrv_aOEXN9tz-YSWpYE9m5px03thPcQPf5Ay16rXTVBPdBxBIgwsqgjYdsd3wyctXSzJJZP-pjFQ6wd_Z9Z6rT8QxGuqx2ja5klLN02BV2iI1eDg/s634/IkeaMar_7.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="363" data-original-width="634" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi92MK8MKUJyFPww9qRZX0FHH-MgAQbG1XITSpEav4uGrBjefAXY9qTIzIeGaB0ASvEuzJaRhKuCNQrv_aOEXN9tz-YSWpYE9m5px03thPcQPf5Ay16rXTVBPdBxBIgwsqgjYdsd3wyctXSzJJZP-pjFQ6wd_Z9Z6rT8QxGuqx2ja5klLN02BV2iI1eDg/s320/IkeaMar_7.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Tray, $15.99</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDJgh0WPKUXNOdirvZEKIIBYz5gJcuf4-jm45e9kzsE8bC4kHViJIcDNzwUfX7Sk06GU_NHhjzDulypRu3N8gJYNF9eXLHaBVo0cmWlONmvPd8IFsUUvVdav74VPg4scdRCFjuBLereDKABgDllUWoN71j4QsVrBZYtnsMH3Lfvf8OO9l29KS5hMm3tw/s510/IkeaMar_3.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="411" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDJgh0WPKUXNOdirvZEKIIBYz5gJcuf4-jm45e9kzsE8bC4kHViJIcDNzwUfX7Sk06GU_NHhjzDulypRu3N8gJYNF9eXLHaBVo0cmWlONmvPd8IFsUUvVdav74VPg4scdRCFjuBLereDKABgDllUWoN71j4QsVrBZYtnsMH3Lfvf8OO9l29KS5hMm3tw/s320/IkeaMar_3.png" width="258" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Bag, $2.99</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p>givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-7530756457189246992023-03-07T20:21:00.001-08:002023-03-07T20:21:58.704-08:00Happy Chinese New Year prints<p> A reminder to myself that I do like what I've created. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUjRVGi9XLLOYmrY0k7-2Z8EhL4rJ-2NgJXJjpd2W_q19Fl4G6IkqSiYdoJjW0p16UsQzmWkt1MLdTbQ-UOPQ0EpDsewlUV8S7KvLlAOvq0FV7o9KgfhiI36_N7euDPK5d8a53OLYo3Zy25SGr8vJ_0blCdEbe5L_y1KCKLi1TFQQLDI2Fw-LNSYQdrQ/s5700/CNY_ConfettiAndDragons2-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5700" data-original-width="3900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUjRVGi9XLLOYmrY0k7-2Z8EhL4rJ-2NgJXJjpd2W_q19Fl4G6IkqSiYdoJjW0p16UsQzmWkt1MLdTbQ-UOPQ0EpDsewlUV8S7KvLlAOvq0FV7o9KgfhiI36_N7euDPK5d8a53OLYo3Zy25SGr8vJ_0blCdEbe5L_y1KCKLi1TFQQLDI2Fw-LNSYQdrQ/s320/CNY_ConfettiAndDragons2-01.jpg" width="219" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinSIQbI7Gt_7mMvRmEbYl79OR5FxLSxNQZ38SFFuR7jh5i5_ZYgF6FcOYlu4Z0rkl3Xp9I0e9Broxuc3gm4k2jOAiIpe547t5cNjq7iP3GW7VwMPW1p3DAN6nEUuPVx2lwkVnBzVkrA2KeYy_-t6dCCOVhEJmUDKI_XayjDs_67RbJZzn9WDCQMhTbZw/s5700/CNYFireworksAbstract2-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5700" data-original-width="3900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinSIQbI7Gt_7mMvRmEbYl79OR5FxLSxNQZ38SFFuR7jh5i5_ZYgF6FcOYlu4Z0rkl3Xp9I0e9Broxuc3gm4k2jOAiIpe547t5cNjq7iP3GW7VwMPW1p3DAN6nEUuPVx2lwkVnBzVkrA2KeYy_-t6dCCOVhEJmUDKI_XayjDs_67RbJZzn9WDCQMhTbZw/s320/CNYFireworksAbstract2-01.jpg" width="219" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyubK6E37kjzgq8cNxWmsrnYA0mNWCaz972j2VpW30Nvo-Rj0NCAuN7XnUKiDvsmJszFE1gExvHyK7DawGBCt3uQo8j9Xq55kN2fmjuMT_Or6vw_w_EaWSDe0o0M3FrFPVt__wuqZMJCQx29ckAF5_-zq5B-we746gS4CB9T77dvuMCV4ZhQXDab-JTg/s5700/CNY_ConfettiOffset-01Lamp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5700" data-original-width="3900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyubK6E37kjzgq8cNxWmsrnYA0mNWCaz972j2VpW30Nvo-Rj0NCAuN7XnUKiDvsmJszFE1gExvHyK7DawGBCt3uQo8j9Xq55kN2fmjuMT_Or6vw_w_EaWSDe0o0M3FrFPVt__wuqZMJCQx29ckAF5_-zq5B-we746gS4CB9T77dvuMCV4ZhQXDab-JTg/s320/CNY_ConfettiOffset-01Lamp.jpg" width="219" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0p_A7cfarvDR86W5Vp2bADzG5EoeCncWaRafYtGXBzoQmTUQtehPxyVyUcpzDT2DuNAEGGgGUkwvDXU-iE0CaeDgik6XKOwAuSpXbAZf41I7Rv8amZlxxlDLHu1Z2kIoCdOkiz9xitqKfj7HSYTqq7mlT2vR28Yg3YrwpULkoLfv9kvWcHG2Tla0SSQ/s5700/CNYprint5white.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5700" data-original-width="3900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0p_A7cfarvDR86W5Vp2bADzG5EoeCncWaRafYtGXBzoQmTUQtehPxyVyUcpzDT2DuNAEGGgGUkwvDXU-iE0CaeDgik6XKOwAuSpXbAZf41I7Rv8amZlxxlDLHu1Z2kIoCdOkiz9xitqKfj7HSYTqq7mlT2vR28Yg3YrwpULkoLfv9kvWcHG2Tla0SSQ/s320/CNYprint5white.jpg" width="219" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-189115991098883242020-01-31T16:57:00.002-08:002020-01-31T16:57:34.802-08:00Oskör!We got this new, wonderful dog last fall:<br />
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I love him so much!<br />
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<br />givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-87523763398812981282020-01-31T16:30:00.003-08:002020-01-31T16:30:58.331-08:005 Years.Wow, it's really been over 5 years since I've moved to NYC and 2.5 since I've last updated! Is blogging still even a thing? Do people still do it?<br />
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Oh well, who cares. I am now. (what's the word for in between now and continuing to...?)<br />
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I am so all over the place with my thoughts lately, it feels like they're all boiling to the surface from being on simmering for the last 5 yrs. So confused about what to do. Too many options that I cannot decide between. What is that?!<br />
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Anyway, I think I've finally reached the crossroads where I need to DeCiDe that I'm going to make a big change in my routine not because it's the 100% right choice, but because it's time to take the steps towards having a better existence for myself. Period. See what stress reduces with a new pattern. Stop Refusing the Call.<br />
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On this last day of January 2020, =O my options are:<br />
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-Apply for new jobs with the intention of accepting them even just for the sake of higher pay and FT status. *LEARNING EXPERIENCE*<br />
-Use this job to save money to allow me to go to FIT for grad school or PT courses (but for credit makes more sense?) Especially since I know who the program coordinator is! Start in Spring or Summer?<br />
-Go to EUR for tulips & meet Carl-Johan.<br />
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Probably have to put my own apt. on hold for now to focus on school and savings. Maybe in late summer/fall I can move.<br />
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Stop being so negative because it's just not fun!<br />
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I wish I could figure out what exactly it is that I need to 'conquer' while I'm here. So I can finally move somewhere new ha ha... :screams:givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-85912045178515539412017-07-17T20:18:00.001-07:002017-07-17T20:19:28.880-07:00Highlight(s) of My DayThe highlight of my day today was getting to talk about my Asia trip with a frequent guest/passerby at AFC who I haven't seen in a while. He seemed equally engaged in what I was talking about which was nice and encouraged me to write my idea of a book.<br />
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The other highlight was imagining seeing Steve Buscemi tomorrow at the shoot I'm helping out at. I'm nervous and have wasted time being exhausted (and hot) in my room all night. Going to bed soon.<br />
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I'm getting annoyed by/with mostly everyone at work. I think it's because I've outgrown the situation and them by association. I have way bigger things to deal with than any boring petty drama or gossip Everyone is super young and barely anyone's lives interest me there.<br />
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I'm still feeling alone but there's more of a lightness and less of a panic to it. Maybe because I feel more confident and focused now for some reason. I'm sure this will pass and I'll feel miserable again soon enough, but maybe not ~ Maybe I'm #growing, lol.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-55863123955792320822017-07-12T10:55:00.001-07:002017-07-12T10:55:46.587-07:00I had a dream involving high school friends and it gave me perspective.I am now thankful that I woke up and fell asleep again, only to wake up at 1:02pm. It's strange to me how it's hard to tell when your body is truly ready to get up and take on the day in its best, most energized form.<br />
<br />
Anyway,<br />
<br />
A group of 4-5 of us were sitting on an elevated grass patch, on a long horizontal hill essentially, overlooking what appeared to be downtown NYC (Empire State in middle). So I think we were on the west side of Manhattan, almost as if on some sort of grassy alien fortess gate. I think it was me, David, Mindy T/Natalie (maybe both?), Auva, Julie from college, and Jessica. Before I arrived there, I was on some sort of plane with Julie in the nighttime. We looked over and I noticed the ocean had a large hot pink area in it, kind of like the outline of an airplane with other small similar marks within the mass. Julie didn't seem to care until I pointed out what it could have symbolized. Then I held up some paper that showed it was some sort of infared reflection. The colors of this dream were forest green, light lime gream, beige, black, and brown with some twinkling (but not romantic) city lights in the distance. A war was going on, it had just started two weeks ago between the USA and South Korea (?). No side had vehemently struck yet, but I was one of the new soldiers who had mandatorily been selected to fight and prep. I think I just finished my two weeks of training and waiting for battle and thankfully nothing bad had happened yet but I was terrified the whole time. I don't think the others had fought.... it was just me. I asked aloud how we will know when the real fighting will start, it could be anytime that something catastrophic happens, it just depends who makes the first move and we do not know. I think David or Auva said something like it just depends who wants to be the aggressor first. I asked if there is a timeframe for this beginning tentativeness that felt almost worse than the real war, as if me and my fellow soldiers were just waiting there to die at any moment, not knowing when to say goodbye to our loved ones and this Earth and that was terrifying. It was hard to stay thankful while being alive and for the present moment because it could distract you from the threat at hand. We were eating take out Chinese food a la Vanessa's Dumplings. While squeezing soy sauce from one of those clear ketchup bottles onto my dumplings in a small box, there was water squirting out from the sizes and getting on Auva. I felt very embarrassed and apologized.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-58593670820804961862017-07-10T17:07:00.003-07:002017-07-10T17:07:33.244-07:00[Placeholder for room/lifestyle images... I'm rly into interior design & decorating and think I should showcase some of my rooms so I can change them or minimize without feeling guilty]givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-33610132074150892342017-06-11T22:46:00.000-07:002017-06-11T22:46:16.737-07:00Hearst Castle!!!!So, my phone just almost gave me an instant heart-attack, as I no longer can see my treasured CA trip photos (or at least, the important ones!!!) on my phone or google photos .. but thankfully they are still in my <3 and="" cloud="" don="" i="" nbsp="" need="" p="" panic.="" t="" to=""><br />
Either way, I should probably have them backed up somewhere non-apple related, cuz u never know. ><<br />
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(And at the hotel... <3 p=""><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></3></3>givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-15043966793315872422017-03-13T21:14:00.001-07:002017-03-13T21:14:17.030-07:003.13.17Tonight I bought my first travel guide book for my Asia tour! So genuinely excited for something for a change. Seems like an alternate universe.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-24646376383420329602017-01-26T22:49:00.000-08:002017-01-26T22:49:38.863-08:00?I might be turning over a new leaf. Not to jinx myself, but this may be happening. Abandoning all old, sad, negative emotions behind and trying to keep trekking forward. Not sure if this is neglecting my feelings or just getting to the point where I cannot fruitfully cry anymore since it's not changing anything or making the situation better.<br />
<br />
Still not sure what I'm going to do long-term and I wish I'd committed to something by now but at least I'm still exploring. (?) Would probably like to go back to Europe to do fashion, stay here and do film (trying not to have an existential crisis that I'm interning at 28), and/or enroll in FIT in the summer/fall. At least I have cute, new clothes from Stories. Worried that if I quit the restaurant I'll be short on hours and money but I'm not sure how I can do it and keep working at Angelika and Stories. Is it worth the extra $100/wk or could I find something else/make it up somehow?<br />
<br />
ARGHHHHHHUGHHHHHHHHH $&@*&$!(_$*!*$ I hate devoting so much energy to worrying about stupid, meaningless problems like this!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
If only I had one real job already!! (and wouldn't feel trapped in one path/stifled) PLEASE. FREAKING. HELP, life!!!!!!!! =Ogivemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-3745306854101909632016-08-08T21:54:00.001-07:002016-08-08T21:54:15.546-07:00nynastc-yWhat would make me happy:<br />
<br />
-quitting everything<br />
-bf or crush who doesnt suck<br />
-jesus idk<br />
-probably living back in CA tbh<br />
-normal schedule & life // access to regular yoga and ocean<br />
-complete erasure of all the bad memories from since i've been here and probably some before too<br />
<br />
-but what about the cinema here, fuckgivemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-28723552612094481502016-08-08T21:51:00.000-07:002016-08-08T21:51:34.071-07:00**List of boys I've been obsessed with who have also flipped me off at one point**givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-8293857609915331692016-08-08T21:43:00.002-07:002016-08-08T21:43:46.406-07:00Outside/InsideIt doesn't matter how lucid of a conversation you're having, if you don't feel a genuine closeness and attachment to the person you're talking to, there is no point in having the discussion because you will still feel empty and uninspired afterwards. Maybe even worse.<br />
<br />
NYC is weird because I feel like I'm moving through the streets like a singular robot. What seems enthralling from a distance becomes generic and corporate up close and I feel farther away from myself than I should.<br />
<br />
How much longer am I going to stay trapped in this room, wasting away the last years of my twenties? But going outside doesn't help unless I am with someone who is completing me and wants to be in that position where we mutually benefit each other.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-54300349734773824522016-08-08T21:35:00.004-07:002016-08-08T21:35:34.866-07:00Orange train blursWhen it's considered a victory if I can get through the subway ride home without crying, maybe it's time to move. Like, this shouldn't be a normal thing.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-57581337494572254542016-07-25T22:42:00.000-07:002016-07-25T22:42:12.278-07:00I feel empty here.Empty, yeah empty that's the word. Not Quite 'numb' but almost... just kinda drifting now waiting for each day to end and hope that somehow, a few weeks down the line will bring some clarity.<br />
<br />
Heavy heart, heavy mind, grey mornings.<br />
<br />
Austin soon?givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-26440666294154572882016-05-03T18:06:00.002-07:002016-05-03T18:08:24.131-07:002nd Round of B&W developedHere is a selection from the roll I just got developed that I think tell a story, or hints of a similar one:<br />
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Also, I listened to two really good podcasts today while at work: </div>
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Duncan Trussell's Family Hour w/ Krishna Das and Tim Ferriss.</div>
<br />givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-56609566224184343462016-05-01T01:15:00.004-07:002016-05-01T01:18:35.889-07:00that moby 18 album is really soothing and important to me rnI would like to stop making the same mistakes over and over.<br />
Feel like I've crossed some sort of barrier where I need a new routine, as I've grown tired of my current one, even though there's no checklist of sorts that exists and a life routine sounds awful.<br />
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My 1 1/2-year NYC anniversary just passed.<br />
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Still don't know how time is moving this fast... everything feeling like it's slipping away only exacerbates my anxiety and unease regarding where I am in my life and makes the time go faster as I remain stalled and panicked. It seems as though I've gone from feeling nebulous and like I have an infinite, abstract amount of time to feeling like I've lost everything and have about 4 years left to live within a matter of months wtf. #chillgivemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-33904421497223979642016-04-23T22:17:00.000-07:002016-04-23T22:17:35.609-07:00Scribbles on Met Map to Remember...Morris Louis, Bridget Riley, John Chamberlain, Lee Krasner, Anselm Kiefer, Julian Lethbridge, Henry Koernergivemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-66297578329274040202016-04-07T21:27:00.001-07:002016-04-07T21:28:25.007-07:00Violet Gaze and Stagnant Days<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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i don't want that pool to open.<br />
i like my coworkers.<br />
i hope i have fun this summer.<br />
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/hopefully to become part of window neon/signage series.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-81598861244857341692016-04-05T20:56:00.001-07:002016-04-05T20:56:11.122-07:00feeling sad and far away from what once was. :-'(givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-73518959780646731302016-04-03T02:21:00.001-07:002016-04-07T21:29:19.256-07:00light&darknessThere was a time today when I felt really good and also a time where I felt really sad. Both kind of at opposite sides of the day spectrum. I think the good part had more weight, but the bad seems to last longer, or stronger for a shorter amount of time -then lingers- where good can trail forward for a long time until the sad part happens. It's interesting to analyze which has more impact. I think the good went deeper since it felt like a new experience/emotion whereas the bad is getting annoyingly repetitive but still has a strong grasp over me, like a shadow that won't leave me be for too long. They always cancel each other out, though, the good and the bad -- the light taking away the shadow and the shadow overtaking the light.<br />
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Starting to feel like a real homebody.<br />
(which I feel guilty and kind of embarrassed about)givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-10631471956343704702016-04-03T01:19:00.000-07:002016-07-25T22:48:09.634-07:00Carrie (1976)I saw Brian De Palma's "Carrie" tonight for the first time at the IFC Center. I found it profoundly moving, especially the entire prom part. Really great visuals, shifting music, and a plethora of themes to dig through. I wish I could have attended a school dance like that irl, minus the pigsblood catastrophe, of course. Nothing like silver paper stars hanging from a ceiling to bring you back to the quintessential high school experience that never really existed.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-649443336562035872016-03-20T21:55:00.000-07:002016-03-20T21:55:05.760-07:00-___-I'm in such a profoundly weird place in my life right now...givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-86545938283036184722016-03-19T23:46:00.001-07:002016-03-19T23:47:26.693-07:00PicturesWalked around and took some photos today. Here are a few favorites from my last developed roll:<br />
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givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4467930696634713994.post-61620893395062422782016-01-01T21:44:00.000-08:002016-01-01T21:44:07.107-08:002015This is an empty post to be completed soon, hopefully sometime in the next week.<br />
Favorites I guess that I forgot to do in 2014.givemeruffleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04892236727009739632noreply@blogger.com0