Black & White Photography

Trying to understand the purpose of b&w photography. "I know, I know, it's like a different, more 'mature'-possibly color variation" but like, the deeper intent/impact/meaning of it?? What types of images work better this way? After developing my first roll, I can only surmise:

-Abstract feelings (mostly sad, probably) Or feelings of exactness like someone Obviously lonely, happy, or pensive
-Not rly indoor scenery, often the lighting isn't dramatic enough and the objects look better in the colors they are-- image becomes a bit empty, uninteresting, or bare.
-Buildings at night with lights, with sky
-Nature scenes, esp if they already have the potential to look 'old' or Breugel-ish

super nuanced or just straight to the point (b&w even furthers its impact??)

I'm so depressed lol.

Color Photography

I'm trying to build a photography portfolio because I think my interests (in terms of physical activity/craft, not inspirations) are narrowing down. For me what it all comes down to for me is color, composition and story, and I think you can best explore these elements altogether- without distraction- in photography. I'm interested in reality and the subtle beauty of it that you experience when you really pay attention, or the vibe it offers that you either want to remember or aren't able to be completely conscious of in the moment that something is happening.

I never really thought about being a 'photographer' in high school/college even though I loved taking pictures because I guess I assumed it was too technical and I don't have any interest in learning about equipment or anything that seems like a barrier to expression. Also, I didn't like what I perceived as the super dramatic/corny aspect of it, like complicated lighting, backgrounds and makeup and shit. However, once I became addicted to disposable cameras and learned more about photographers I truly love, I realized that the medium doesn't have to be like that.

Here is my attempt at an appealing, expressive photo story that hopefully shows a decent range of color. My biggest struggle right now is finding inspiring landscapes and imagery in nature and everyday life that have rich and unique color schemes. I want my photo batches to look like when you google image search William Eggleston and you are just overwhelmed by the insane color and composition variation. I may otherwise have to resort in making my own still lifes out of funny artificial objects but I'm still unsure if the brightness will come across on film or if the images will be cool/professional-enough looking.

**this just looks kind of demonic...

Trying to Clean My Room and...

These were some jotted down pieces that touched me at the Met in May/June:

-Odilon Redon: Bouquet of Flowers ~1905 pcotel/pcobel(??)
+Vase of Flowers (pink background)

-The Arrival in Bethlehem, 1540, Master LC

-Allegory of the Planets and Continents: Giovanni Battista Tiepolo, 1696-1770

-Degas: Young Woman with Ibis

-Karl Friedrich: Thiele Schinkel

-Edouard Villard: Garden at Vaucresson

-Designs... Queen of Night + Magic Flute Temple

-Gustave Courbet: The Sea

-Pierre-Auguste Cot: Springtime, 1873

-Van Gogh: Oleanders

feeling sad and afraid.

it's pretty hot.

I miss my friend and have too many memories.

Sunset Park doodles...

If I were to make a Sunset Park tote bag of key neighborhood illustrations and graphics, here's what it would have (*running list):

-Tacos (on a plate or in a box?)
-Bubble Tea
-The view from the park
-Green Fig bakery fruit tart
-Army Terminal
-D-Train and N/R-Train logo
-Vietnamese Sandwich
-Big Rig truck (?)
-Green-Wood Cemetery tombstone
-Cake slice(s)

flower/nature/solitude emoji

Lately it's come into fruition that all I want to be around/think about are flowers, animals, nature in general (outside), meditation and yoga again, being around that one Richard T. Walker piece I experienced in Austin last year and removing myself from all self-doubt and concern for a few hours at a time.

I think part of the reason the piece had such an impact on me in the way that it did was that because I was alone with it, and without the feeling that other people were watching it too or judging how long I was in the room. It was nice to settle into the space and make the it my own, even tho 'making it my own' mainly meant that I could charge my battery-evaporating phone and lounge in different parts of the room-- unzipping my backpack and fumblingly taking notes. (still pretty illegible)

Oh -- to be on the start of a new adventure...

6 Months in NYC

and the only conclusion I've drawn is that all my favorite places to spend a lot of time (where I can finally feel whole, at peace and unanxious) now involve dead people, solitude, and non-humans.

S/O to:
-Green-Wood Cemetery
-The Met
-Gardens

Which is really convenient for making new, long-lasting friendships.

*Disclaimer: I forgot about IFC Center which is my favorite thing to do in NY, but I guess I still feel anxiety sometimes because there can be a lot of people which makes me miss my friends or wish I had them to go with. & I have to get on the subway right after which is always depressing...