Thursday, January 26, 2017

?

I might be turning over a new leaf. Not to jinx myself, but this may be happening. Abandoning all old, sad, negative emotions behind and trying to keep trekking forward. Not sure if this is neglecting my feelings or just getting to the point where I cannot fruitfully cry anymore since it's not changing anything or making the situation better.

Still not sure what I'm going to do long-term and I wish I'd committed to something by now but at least I'm still exploring. (?) Would probably like to go back to Europe to do fashion, stay here and do film (trying not to have an existential crisis that I'm interning at 28), and/or enroll in FIT in the summer/fall. At least I have cute, new clothes from Stories. Worried that if I quit the restaurant I'll be short on hours and money but I'm not sure how I can do it and keep working at Angelika and Stories. Is it worth the extra $100/wk or could I find something else/make it up somehow?

ARGHHHHHHUGHHHHHHHHH $&@*&$!(_$*!*$ I hate devoting so much energy to worrying about stupid, meaningless problems like this!!!!!!!!

If only I had one real job already!! (and wouldn't feel trapped in one path/stifled) PLEASE. FREAKING. HELP, life!!!!!!!! =O